A Few Fabulous Holiday 2013 Violet Moments

One of the reasons I decided to start writing this blog is because life is moving SO QUICKLY that I am afraid of forgetting some of these precious moments that happen.  Especially in the blur that is raising a newborn and a toddler in tandem - it's hard to remember what happened a few hours ago, let alone store things in long term memory.  Thus - I write. 

We spent Thanksgiving this year with my parents in Mill Valley.  We had gone up the day before and George was joining us after he got out of a long meeting in Santa Cruz.  The kitchen was full of family - my Aunt Carmen, Michelle, Uncle Bill, Jeannette, my folks, and Jamie were all there.  We had all been discussing how we felt sorry for George who was fighting traffic for hours.  When he arrived at the front door around 6pm Violet ran to him, jumped into his arms and kissed him.  "I missed you Daddy!"  He replied "I missed you too!"  "You in traffic Daddy?" "Yes."  "Oooh.  You need a glass of wine, Daddy?"  It was the funniest darn thing she could have said - perfect for George and hilarious for the rest of us!  "Why yes I would like a glass of wine!"  We were all dying laughing.

Here are a few precious recollections from Christmas this year.  To be fair, Alice was a doll in her red "Baby's First Christmas" PJs and her generally sweet disposition.  But the greatest pleasure this Christmas was watching Violet get into the season, learn about Santa, sing Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer umpteen times, watch my dad teach her about Baby Jesus, watch her revel at her Christmas presents Christmas morning.  (Her favorites really being the simplest ones - like a light pink silk play scarf from her Auntie Genna!)

On Christmas Eve my parents and George and I took the girls to their first Children's Christmas Mass and Pageant at Mount Carmel Church in Mill Valley.  We were all dressed up.  Violet looked like a Christmas princess in her beautiful Gymboree red and green plaid silk duponi dress and gold leather maryjanes. 

My dad, Tata, had given her a book called "The True Story of Christmas" or something like that which told the story of Mary and Joseph and Baby Jesus in simple terms for a toddler reader. She's obsessed with babies, so she naturally adored the book.  She decided that she needed to bring it with her to church.  (My dad - intense Catholic that he is - was quite thrilled.)  Violet doesn't really know a thing about Mass, but was all geared up for the singing parts, the standing parts, and especially was looking forward to the play about Baby Jesus. 

Once the pageant began, Violet insisted on standing up on the pew to see.  Then several small children walked down the aisle to sit at the front of the Church to see the play better.  The performance took place on the church pulpit platform which was risen about five steps from the floor level.  Mount Carmel is big.  And at Christmas mass, it is always packed.  This night was no exception - there were 900 plus in attendance.  We were sitting about 19-20 rows back from the front of the Church, and Violet decided that this would simply not do; she needed a better view of Baby Jesus. 

She broke away from George who was holding her and said she was going to see baby Jesus.  "Does she know to stop and sit at the front with the other kids? - You better go get her." I said to George (I was holding a sleeping 2 month old baby Alice at the time).  "Let's just see what she does."  She walked right past the other kids sitting at the front, straight up the stairs onto the stage.  A bewildered 7 or 8 year old Mary and Joseph stood there dumbfounded with only the bassinet holding baby Jesus between them and my curious daughter, standing with her back to 900 people gazing down into the cradle.  George said to me "I'm not going up there." I shot him a look, handed him Alice and ran in heels all the way up to the front of the church onto the stage to grab my toddler, amidst hundreds of people chuckling at us.  Tata had tears in his eyes because "She totally gets it!"

Back in the Saddle

My goodness it has certainly been a long time since I have posted anything on this blog.  Apparently motherhood and working-mom-motherhood in particular has not lent itself to blogging.  Since my last posts Ms. Violet Mae Mohler was born, on July 1st 2011.

She is now 2 1/2 and talks in full sentences.  She is full of life, zesty and opinionated as could be.  She is the happiest, most enthusiastic person I have ever met...unless she's upset about something, in which case she's super upset.  She is her mother's daughter and feels everything to the max, sees life in technicolor and is a true a bon vivant!

The day after my birthday, on October 26, 2013 I gave birth to our second daughter, Alice LaRose Mohler.  She is an incredibly sweet and mellow baby.  She loves to be quiet and to smile up at whoever is looking her in the eyes.  She loves her binky and her swaddle and can sleep for hours as long as she has both in a quiet warn place.  She is the easiest little second baby this mama could ever ask for.

Besides that, my husband George now has two full time jobs.  I have been promoted from Post-doctoral Fellow to Assistant Professor of Theatre and Dance at Santa Clara University.  This is quite a fete I think considering I have had two babies whilst securing said job.  We'll see if I can manage to be the kind of mom and wife I want to be and also be the kind of professor my department and college needs.  I think there will be some stress there - but I do think it is possible.  I am hopeful, optimistic, that I somehow do both at about a B+ level, and that in the end that is the best thing for me to do.  But, I may be getting to philosophical for my first blog back from a three year hiatus.  It's 2014!  I have been a mom since mid-2011!  Fuq!  How did that happen?

Stationery card

Initially Lavender Rose Birth Announcement

Shutterfly has cute baby announcements and Valentine's Day cards.

View the entire collection of cards.

Mid-Sixth Week

Here I am, on day 2 of week 6, and feeling all the lovely symptoms of the first trimester. My breasts are insanely sore to the touch (even clothes brushing up against my nipples hurts), I'm queasy in the morning for some portion of the AM, and I'm tired all the time. Luckily, I have not been particularly moody since we first found out I was pregnant. I personally think I was just going through the emotional roller coaster that goes along with the discovery. I have never been great with transitions.

Now George and I have been enjoying lazying around together. I think he's died and gone to heaven with this new, mellower, more tired and dopey wife. And he's been mercifully understanding and supportive of the fact that I am currently "phoning" my work in, so to speak. I am able to teach well - my students haven't missed a beat - but as far as research goes? No way. Not happening right now. I just need to make it through the next few weeks of the quarter, then I have nearly a month off to relax. By the time I return for Winter quarter I will be in my 4th month of pregnancy, and hopefully enjoying the increased energy of the second trimester. But we'll see!

I'm now weighing in at 127.9lbs, but at one point this week I was down to 127.1lbs. I'm trying to not exceed 131 before my 12th week, but of course, I'll be kind to myself either way. I have been exercising almost daily, but I have also been eating far larger breakfasts and snacking throughout the day.

Week Five

Strange thing about counting weeks: you start counting the weeks of pregnancy from the first day of your last menstrual period, so there are literally almost two weeks when you are utterly not pregnant that count as week 1-2. Huh.

Things have been going smoothly for the most part. I am definitely feeling morning sickness for several hours a day. And, unfortunately, this seems to be getting worse, as today was the worst day so far! I haven't been over whelmed with nausea yet - Thank God - but I have been having headaches every single day that last for hours. I'm just getting rid of my headache from this morning now.

Still - it is amazing to be pregnant. I am obsessed with the idea (however open/vague it is) of our little baby coming! I thought that I would be really worried about how it will change George and my life, but actually I am so focused on getting to know the little one growing inside of me, I can't really concentrate on "how my life will change."

One thing is certain - I'm less concerned with work than ever before. Of course I will always be totally dedicated to my teaching and my students - that goes without saying. But my brain is too fuzzy to dedicate much time or energy to anything except sleeping, and being with my husband, and day dreaming about the baby.

I am so blessed to be pregnant and so full (literally) of potential!

For my own info:
Weight at 5 weeks: 128.7 lbs

Surprise!

After "trying" for exactly one month (mid Oct. 2010, to be exact) George and I were stressed and ready to stop "trying" because it seemed to be getting in the way of our relaxing around each other. My 30th birthday was met with some unexpected anxiety. I decided to throw a house-warming/B-day party at my house. The event took a lot out of me, made me stressed and bratty with Jane and George. And I ended up sort of wishing I hadn't bothered to host it.

As it turns out, that was right at the time our little fertilized egg was finding a home in my womb to nestle into! Go figure.

A few days after the party, I had discovered that I was spotting. I was understandably disappointed. When I told George I was upset, he became distraught because he felt like I was putting too much pressure on the whole thing. We had a difficult heart to heart and decided to completely lighten up on what he called our "race to get pregnant." We were resolved to just have fun together, talk less about getting pregnant, and let nature take its course.

On November 4th I decided, somewhat impulsively, to take a home pregnancy test (clear blue digital!) I couldn't believe it when I saw it, but was so completely happy right away. We're pregnant! It turns out that the spotting was actually totally normal implantation blood. And my moodiness, which I figured was PMS is legitimate first trimester hormonal adjustments! Yay!

I'm delighted. I think that it's possible that George is adjusting to the news. On one hand I know he's basically (rationally) very happy about it. But on the other hand, he hasn't really showed me his enthusiasm in an emotional outpour like I would like to see. I think it may be because he's processing this. We really didn't think it was going to happen this quickly, and we certainly didn't think it would happen this month after I got upset about spotting a week ago!

Regardless, the truth is, this is my experience. His experience, largely, will be about dealing with my pregnancy in terms of how it impacts me and our relationship and lifestyle. But I am the only one whose body will change, and who must be dedicated tirelessly to being the best possible vessel for this new life. My entire mission in life has just altered: I am now going to be a mother, the most sacred and holy thing a person can be. This is my time to actively pursue my best characteristics. This is my time to become the best version of myself that I can become: spiritually, physically, mentally, emotionally and of course productively.

Thank God above for this miracle. I will thank you everyday for giving this most precious gift.