Mid-Sixth Week

Here I am, on day 2 of week 6, and feeling all the lovely symptoms of the first trimester. My breasts are insanely sore to the touch (even clothes brushing up against my nipples hurts), I'm queasy in the morning for some portion of the AM, and I'm tired all the time. Luckily, I have not been particularly moody since we first found out I was pregnant. I personally think I was just going through the emotional roller coaster that goes along with the discovery. I have never been great with transitions.

Now George and I have been enjoying lazying around together. I think he's died and gone to heaven with this new, mellower, more tired and dopey wife. And he's been mercifully understanding and supportive of the fact that I am currently "phoning" my work in, so to speak. I am able to teach well - my students haven't missed a beat - but as far as research goes? No way. Not happening right now. I just need to make it through the next few weeks of the quarter, then I have nearly a month off to relax. By the time I return for Winter quarter I will be in my 4th month of pregnancy, and hopefully enjoying the increased energy of the second trimester. But we'll see!

I'm now weighing in at 127.9lbs, but at one point this week I was down to 127.1lbs. I'm trying to not exceed 131 before my 12th week, but of course, I'll be kind to myself either way. I have been exercising almost daily, but I have also been eating far larger breakfasts and snacking throughout the day.

Week Five

Strange thing about counting weeks: you start counting the weeks of pregnancy from the first day of your last menstrual period, so there are literally almost two weeks when you are utterly not pregnant that count as week 1-2. Huh.

Things have been going smoothly for the most part. I am definitely feeling morning sickness for several hours a day. And, unfortunately, this seems to be getting worse, as today was the worst day so far! I haven't been over whelmed with nausea yet - Thank God - but I have been having headaches every single day that last for hours. I'm just getting rid of my headache from this morning now.

Still - it is amazing to be pregnant. I am obsessed with the idea (however open/vague it is) of our little baby coming! I thought that I would be really worried about how it will change George and my life, but actually I am so focused on getting to know the little one growing inside of me, I can't really concentrate on "how my life will change."

One thing is certain - I'm less concerned with work than ever before. Of course I will always be totally dedicated to my teaching and my students - that goes without saying. But my brain is too fuzzy to dedicate much time or energy to anything except sleeping, and being with my husband, and day dreaming about the baby.

I am so blessed to be pregnant and so full (literally) of potential!

For my own info:
Weight at 5 weeks: 128.7 lbs

Surprise!

After "trying" for exactly one month (mid Oct. 2010, to be exact) George and I were stressed and ready to stop "trying" because it seemed to be getting in the way of our relaxing around each other. My 30th birthday was met with some unexpected anxiety. I decided to throw a house-warming/B-day party at my house. The event took a lot out of me, made me stressed and bratty with Jane and George. And I ended up sort of wishing I hadn't bothered to host it.

As it turns out, that was right at the time our little fertilized egg was finding a home in my womb to nestle into! Go figure.

A few days after the party, I had discovered that I was spotting. I was understandably disappointed. When I told George I was upset, he became distraught because he felt like I was putting too much pressure on the whole thing. We had a difficult heart to heart and decided to completely lighten up on what he called our "race to get pregnant." We were resolved to just have fun together, talk less about getting pregnant, and let nature take its course.

On November 4th I decided, somewhat impulsively, to take a home pregnancy test (clear blue digital!) I couldn't believe it when I saw it, but was so completely happy right away. We're pregnant! It turns out that the spotting was actually totally normal implantation blood. And my moodiness, which I figured was PMS is legitimate first trimester hormonal adjustments! Yay!

I'm delighted. I think that it's possible that George is adjusting to the news. On one hand I know he's basically (rationally) very happy about it. But on the other hand, he hasn't really showed me his enthusiasm in an emotional outpour like I would like to see. I think it may be because he's processing this. We really didn't think it was going to happen this quickly, and we certainly didn't think it would happen this month after I got upset about spotting a week ago!

Regardless, the truth is, this is my experience. His experience, largely, will be about dealing with my pregnancy in terms of how it impacts me and our relationship and lifestyle. But I am the only one whose body will change, and who must be dedicated tirelessly to being the best possible vessel for this new life. My entire mission in life has just altered: I am now going to be a mother, the most sacred and holy thing a person can be. This is my time to actively pursue my best characteristics. This is my time to become the best version of myself that I can become: spiritually, physically, mentally, emotionally and of course productively.

Thank God above for this miracle. I will thank you everyday for giving this most precious gift.